When we bought this house, John was laid off, just after we closed the deal. It was a painful time for all of us. We bought the house based on his income and then when he was finally able to find another job, his salary was cut literally in half.
That being said, we had a lot of things we wanted to do to the house, changes to make, etc. Because of the struggle financially, we were stuck with leaving some things as they were and not making upgrades on other things. I will not lie, the salary cut, two growing boys and the extra expenses of a larger home were tough to navigate.
John has steadily been promoted since then and our finances are much more sound, but money is still tight. We have two in college. Money is still a concern, but at least we can breath again.
This whole repair renovation has presented us an opportunity to change some of the things we had hoped to change over the years.
We've tried to look at it as an opportunity, not a misfortune. The amount of time it has take has taken a toll on my body and my mind. This ol' Dysautonomia body just doesn't cooperate like I want it to. For example, yesterday I painted what used to be the dining room area....by myself....in one day. I thought I would be able to rest a bit yesterday afternoon and pull myself together for church. WRONG. My body just laughed and laughed at me, as I crawled physically defeated to the bed.
Tuesday of this week, things all came to head with me seeing so much STILL to be done. I started making a list of things and the list just grew and grew and grew. I could hear the characters, in my book, calling from a great distance away, "We want to play. Please come make us do something interesting!"
So, I sat down, had a good cry and then cried some more. Note of advice: Pity parties are alright to have, but they cannot last very long.
As my pity party was wrapping up, we got word that one of Adam's high school class mates committed suicide. At once, I received clarity. This house stuff is just that....STUFF. None of it matters in the grand scheme of things. Yes, I've been overwhelmed recently and in the past, but not to the point that I wanted to stop trying. This young man stopped trying. I don't know the details surrounding his life. I wish he could have seen light at the end of the tunnel, because that wee sparkle of light is Jesus, beckoning us to keep trying.
Please pray for this family. They will need the vision to see that wee sparkle of light, as they move through grief. My heart is broken for them.
Post Script: I promise when this house adventure is all over, I will post a video tour, if I can figure out how to post it :)
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