Wednesday, May 11, 2016

No bells and whistles

I married an engineer.  For those of you who also married one, lets form a support group.  I'm quite sure we could have lots of fun.  Moving on... My favorite lad in the whole word, who also happens to be my husband, is a bells and whistles guy when it comes to computer equipment and any kind of electronics.  The man's eyes practically roll back in his head when he starts telling me all that my "forced upon me" iphone will do.  Pieces of equipment that do tricks scare and confuse me.  If it only does one trick, I'm likely okay, but two tricks and I'm screwed.

I'm a creative type.  I photograph and write.  I love art.  I love thinking about photographs, writing, and art.  But if you mess with the tools I use to make art, I might hurt you.  Seriously, don't change the icons, the home page, the process, nothing...just don't.  Artsie-fartsie girl here will not handle the changes well.  If you are married to me, I will call you repeatedly at work and cry into the phone for help.  Real. FOR real. Tears.

I have Dysautonomia and one of the most annoying issues with this disease is that I can never tell from one day to the next how I will be feeling.  Some days I can jump mountains.  Okay, scratch that...hills.  Okay so maybe they are just small bumps in the road, but I can, some days, jump them.  On other days, pain hits me like Mack truck and I can hardly get out of bed.  Some days I can sit at our regular home computer for hours and work, while others days the pain shuts me down.  With all this in mind, we started discussing a laptop for me, so I can work from the recliner, bed, patio swing, etc.  Those of you married to a bells and whistles engineer can already see where this is going.

When smart phones started coming on the scene, I was not impressed.  At one point I needed a new phone cause my hot little flip phone died.  (Don't judge.) I walked into the phone store and the 11 year old sales person whipped his long black bangs out of his eyes.  With his bleached blonde side burns and tattoos up and down his arms he asked, "So what do you need your phone to do?"  I felt that was fairly obvious, but I played along.  "I want it to ring."  My kids had finally taught me to text and since this was the only way I could get them to communicate with me, I could see the benefit of a wee keyboard.  So I added, "And a teeny tiny keyboard.  That is all."  The black bang wearing 11 year old was not amused.

A year and a half ago, my family forced me to start using an iPhone.  While I do enjoy the social media apps and the camera on board, I don't like texting with it.  The flat keyboard gets me in trouble all the time.  I type live for love and all manner of other typos that I will not mention.  Anyhoo, I have it and now I'm adjusting to life with a smart phone.  Back to the laptop issue.

When I discuss laptops with my favorite lad, he begins using foreign languages.  He explains to me how I can sync one device to another and have all my devices talking to each other.  I really only need the device to talk to me.   

Yesterday I came across an article about an old school product that writers LOVE.  It is a 1 1/2 lb. portable, battery powered, word processing keyboard.  It doesn't connect to the internet, so it won't allow for checking email, shopping and researching online, or checking social media.  It will however connect to my computer with a handy dandy USB cord so I can download files into a proper word document.  NO BELLS AND WHISTLES.  This allows for writing with less distraction.  I often write with a pen and paper (real old school), but sometimes when I get in the zone, my brain works faster than I can write, so typing is helpful.

Let me add this little tidbit.  I was taught how to type properly.  On a typewriter.  In a class.  With proper finger and hand placement.  By Doris Durham.  I can type fast.  Kudos to Mrs. Durham.  I love me a keyboard.  You know, the real kind with actual keys that make that lovely clicking noise when you type. It is the little things in life, isn't it?  

So I talked to my favorite lad about this product.  He didn't seem impressed because it won't talk to him on the iphone or via his Apple TV, but he played nice and agreed I could give it a try.

So for a price of less than $45 my new toy is now on its way to my house.

I shall keep you updated.   

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