Calm

January 1, 2015.

It is time to begin afresh.

I have a goal to finish my novel this year.  Writing soothes my heart, mind, body and soul. Getting the words out of my head and onto the screen and/or paper releases a valve for pent up emotions and conflicts to seep out and healing begins.  It is strange how that works.

I used to get that kind of release with photography. Then Dysautonomia landed inside my body and photography became something I used to do.  I can still take lovely pictures, but my body cannot hold up to the physical demands of that particular job anymore.  I can't work for 16 hours a day rolling about in the grass, chasing wee ones to get "the shot".  I can't spend hours at the computer doing editing and editing and editing.  There is something about the way my body moves with the editing process that triggers flares of muscle and nerve pain that I really have no way to adequately describe.

In the past six years, I've experienced more heartache, some publicly know and some not, than I ever thought my heart, body and soul could bear.  But, I bore it and am living to tell about it.  That fact alone is reason to celebrate.

In the past, I've done different things to celebrate the beginning of a new year.  A few times, I decided upon a year long fast, like the year I didn't read any magazines.  One year, I only read the bible and devotional material.  One year, in the midst of my most politically active seasons of life, I turned off talk radio.  Another year, I picked the word "intentional" to be my year's theme.

I have the goal of finishing the novel this year.  I have a publisher willing to read my manuscript when it is complete.  (THIS IS HUGE!) I'll also be traveling to a writer's convention in the summer, where I can pitch my novel to at least 3 publishing houses.  I am anxious, excited and pumped.

To help me achieve the goal of completing the novel, I have to set myself up for success.  I've learned in the past year, that for me to write successfully, I have to have the things of my home organized.  When things are unorganized and cluttered, I feel a sense of guilt when I write because in my head I'm thinking, "You really need to get this house cleaned up." 

To move toward my goal, in the past month, I cleaned out my storage room, organized and cleaned out Christmas decorations, cleaned out my out of control office, organized my laundry room and have cleaned....a lot.  In the past 6 years, my illness, Angie's illness, her death and the resulting grief have caused me to fall behind on many house hold chores.  I'm trying to get my ducks in a row, so to speak.  I'm working toward my goal.

You see, I have discovered that I hunger for peace, calm, quiet, stillness....

So, as I begin 2015, I am claiming the word "Calm".  I will seek it in my house, church, talents, relationships, mind, body and soul.  I have reached a point in my life that I cannot tolerate drama. I've tried very hard to move past dramatic situations, people and environments.  I desire calm.  I hunger for it.  I learned in the last months of Angie's life that a life well lived has no room for drama.  I claim that lesson and the goal of being calm.

So, what is your word?  What shall you claim for 2015?