Music To Remember Me By

Bekah says I'm morbid because I'm always referring to "when I pass."  I've already told people about special jewelry I want them to have; some books; furniture; holiday decorations, etc.  When my friend died it made me see the need to plan ahead.  Share you likes and dislikes because it is so difficult to think when your heart is crushed and your thoughts are distorted in grief.  Its hard to pick up the shards of your love from the little pile surrounding you when someone you love dies and thoughtfully put things together so you can clearly think to plan a service.

I remember one summer day I took Bekah all over the house to show her where things are, where some things are stored, and what are the really important things.  I love my boys, but boys don't think with the sentimentality of a woman.  I'm so grateful for my daughter in law.  She gives me joy and much needed estrogen in this house of men.

Today I told John, the kids, and my girl cousins that on my phone I have a play-list called "My Passing."  Its a list of all my favorites.  There are actually 81 songs which means my service will be  long OR they will have plenty of songs to choose from.  They range from Whitney Houston's "I Want to Dance with Somebody," the old songs of Ireland, to Getty hymns and everything in between. There are enough dance songs on the list that a dance party after the serious service could be enjoyed.

I don't plan to go any time soon, although I'm not afraid to die at all. In fact I hope Jesus comes really soon and takes me! But if I live long enough that folks I love need to have a memorial service, I have a path for them to follow with decisions made to ease their sense of responsibility. Have you thought about it?  Considered your own passing?  I haven't done this so everything will be my way.  I've done it as my final gift of service to my family.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

In His Hands

Echoes of a Soul Whisper

I'm so very concerned right now.  People I love are experiencing horrible health situations.  One is beginning the process of getting a bone marrow transplant.  Another is in the hospital with a severe case of COVID 19 and on a ventilator for the second time.  Another friend is in the middle of chemo treatments for cancer.  The list goes on and on.  And all this is happening in the middle of a world wide pandemic.

The world looks entirely different in just a few months. There is now a cottage industry of making fabric face masks. Businesses are closing left and right because of the quarantine. Weddings are being rescheduled.  Bankruptcies abound. Educational professionals are struggling to figure out what to do about reopening schools.  Burials are being completed with barely any friends or family in attendance because of the virus.  People in rehab and nursing home facilities are lonely because no one can come in a visit with them.  My heart hurts, y'all. Know yours does as well.

The racial tensions are almost more than my heart can take.  I'll share more of my thoughts on this topic in a future article.

While we've all been struggling with this new world,  trying to figure out what we can do next and attempting to discern the smart thing to do every single day, I've continued my normal habit of journaling and working through my own personal perception of this world's struggles.  Those thoughts have recently been complied into a devotional book.  I don't have all the answers, but I sure do know the one who does. I hope you'll consider reading it when it releases.

The beautiful image you see in the left hand corner of this article is the artwork that will be featured as the cover art on this newest book. Sarah Williamson is my cover art illustrator. God led me to her.  When we open our souls to the whispers of God, He will take care of our every need.  Sarah's work is an amazement to me- filled with such spirit. There is much to be learned during this crisis. But I truly believe that the most important thing to learn is HE holds us close just as this image reflects.  The entire world is in His most loving and capable hands.

Release date for the book to be announced soon.

A Chewin' Out

I went to see one of my specialist this week.  When you have Dysautonomia, as I do, you have a long list of specialists and medications.  I've gotten used to the 2 hour drive. But this visit was different because it was the first time I've visited this doctor in this particular large medical center since the virus came to live among us.  I had to be screened before entering, including my temperature. Then I got a sticker to wear that proved I had been screened. Oh, and I had to have a mask on to even enter the building and be screened.

A while back I read an article that said one of the medications this doctor has me on is not good for me. So I decided to stop taking it.  When I shared this with the doctor -who is a gray haired man, probably the age of my father- I got a royally chewing' out.  Like up one side and down the other, as my mother says.  I respect this man very much.  Had it not been for him, I might never have gotten a proper diagnosis of Dysautonomia.

After my examination and official scolding we went on to discuss the corona virus.  I decided on the long drive home that I should share this information with others.  My doctor kind of rattled my cage with information and it has altered my perception and will now alter my actions.

 1.  This doctor said this virus is much worse than most people think and the vast majority of the United States population is taking it much too lightly.
2.  He named off a list of people he knows personally that have either died from the virus or someone he knows has a relative that has died from the virus.
3.  He said there was an infant in this hospitals pediatric ICU that has the virus and likely will not make it.
4.  He said the flippant way that young and middle aged people are regarding this virus is causing the age of those infected to be much younger than they were at the beginning of this chaos.
5.  He made the point that people are now flocking to the beach, going to large parties, and will be going to large 4th of July festivities. Folks are milling about with one another, going out to eat in large crowds and spreading the virus.  Then they return to their homes with the virus and spread it to others in extended family and their community.
6.  In regard to wearing a mask, he was adamant that we must wear them.  He explained that the reason doctors and nurses wear masks during surgery is to protect the patient from having spit, sneezes, and such from contaminating a patient.  The patient doesn't wear a mask to protect the the doctor's and nurses.  The point being that we wear masks to protect those around us in case we have it or have been exposed don't know it.
7.  Because I have a compromised neurological system, he shared with me some things that honestly scared me coming from someone I trust.  He said that as this continues to spread, more and more patients are experiencing long term side effects, many neurological.  For instances, some are left with no ability to use their legs because of nerve damage after the virus.
8.  He said that no one quite knows the extent of what it will do long term.  He advised that I need to be extremely careful regarding being around others outside those I'm in regular contact with. No large crowds.  He even advised that if there were events or places I need to go where a vast majority of those there would refuse to wear masks, I need to refrain from going.
9. He said the worst of this is coming.
10. And he chewed me out for not taking the medicine he is convinced is good for me.

So I learned that my lockdown is to continue with limited release.  But the good news is I wrote 2 books during the first part of this chaos.  And I will be finishing book 2 in the near future.

Be careful out there.  Wear your mask even if you think its stupid.  Do it for me.  But if you don't I will not hold it against you, but I will have to stay away from you.  Much love friends and family.  I pray illness and protection for all of us.