Advent, Dec. 9, Who, Not What

I've always hated razor-edged focus directed on me.  I had dinner with some friends last evening and we discussed the horror at having "Happy Birthday" sung to us.  As one friend pointed out, "What are you supposed to do while they are singing?"  As I grew older, I learned to enjoy attention from time to time, but it has never felt great to me.  I suppose my life is a study in extremes.  Most people would assume I enjoy very social situations, when the truth is... I do not.  And I like it less as I get older.  

I still hate celebrating birthdays, not because I don't like growing older, but because I hate all the attention focused in my direction.  I'd prefer to let birthdays slip right past me with no bru-ha-ha.

I love to sing, but hate singing by myself in front of people with all the attention on me.  I like to sing in groups where I can pretend no one is looking at me. I love to have large groups at my house.  I love to watch other people having fun at my house.  Generally you'll find me in the kitchen working or moving from table to table making sure everyone has what they need.  I rarely even eat when people are at my house for a meal. I prefer to serve than be served.

In my 30s I absolutely adored big, over the top worship experiences filled with ridiculously talented, enviable singers, within well orchestrated services.  That spoke to me. (Notice what I just said there) I loved contemporary worship songs and styles that were brimming with high emotions. At the time I could convince myself that I was truly worshiping when all the "right elements" were involved.  Actually I now believe that I wasn't worshiping my Father at all.  I was just worshiping the experience.  It's easier to worship the experience than it is to get real and be with God.  It is incredibly easy to worship WHAT speaks to us, instead of  WHO speaks to us. 

You see, God isn't in the lights, the music, the well orchestrated service, the power point presentations, or the talent singers.   He is in the quiet, still atmosphere of the calm soul that longs for Him.

Consider I Kings 19:11-13 (NASB)

And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?

Today, during this holy season of quiet waiting and anticipation, let the introvert side of your soul cry out to Jesus.  It will cry softly and tenderly.  It will be there waiting for you to be quiet enough for God to feed you and love you.  Don't settle for a worship service of WHAT.

Jesus, come quickly.

Kelley