Happy 26th and other things

First of all thanks to "Ireland Calling" for the lovely picture to start today's post.  Secondly, you pronouce that "slawn-cha". It means "to your health" in Gaelic. Last night at church, one of our ministers asked me "How do you say that word at the end of your signature on texts?"  It's "slawn-cha". 

Today we celebrate the 26th anniversary of the the day John and I said we do. Amazing.  It has been a wild 26 year ride. Ups, downs, some really high ups, some really low downs, but we decided we love God more than each other and that changed our relationship more than anything and here we are.  Happy Anniversary John. I love you a bushel and a peck. 

I had a tough day yesterday.  I had a lot of errands to run to get ready for the upcoming St. Patrick's Day celebration.  Planning the annual St. Patrick's Day celebration is so much fun, but of course this year is bittersweet because my favorite girl will not be here as I share my love for the Irish land, people, culture and food.  

I found a wee little pot of St. Patrick's Day flowers that I'm going to take to the graveyard.  I know it won't mean anything to her. I'm not exactly sure what happens to you when you pass from this life. If I had to guess, she is either busy resting in Jesus or she's organizing something in the great beyond. Regardless, the flowers won't mean anything to her, but they mean something to me.  It's my way to keeping her in my favorite day of the year.  

My problem is that when I'm running errands, I miss her so bad I can't stand it.  In the past year, we've been errand buddies.She was either with me on errands OR I was talking to her on the phone during my errands OR I had a list of things she needed that I was picking up for her.  The worst part is riding around in the car.  I miss her as my errand day car buddy so deeply I can't explain it. Lots and lots of "car" tears yesterday and I did in fact stop in 3 public bathrooms to cry.  The terrible part of the whole crying part is that it is the ugly face cry where you make moans that come from deep in your soul.

Yesterday my friend Paula said "you are trying to figure out where you fit without her."  And that is so true.  Paula also said she told someone that "Ange understood Kelley better than anyone and Kelley understood Angie better than anyone."   That doesn't mean that we always got along and we never fought.  I wish that was true, but the truth is that we had knock down drag out fights disagreements :) over the years.  But we understood each other enough to shake it off, move on and still love each other.  I will admit though that there was a lot of eye rolling involved in the "shake it off, move on and still love each other" part. 

Now I shift gears.  I am typing this as the television is filled with imagines of Pope Benedict leaving Vatican City.  As a non-Catholic girl, it may seem odd to you that there are tears in my eyes. As he left today he said that he now will serve the church in a different way....through prayer, contemplation and meditation.  

8 years ago when he took the position as pope, I didn't and still don't know much about this whole "pope" business.  When they said he had chosen the name "Benedict" all I could think of was Benedict Arnold, the traitor.  So it seemed so strange to me.  

Since that time, God has been working on my heart in regards to prayer and my individual worship time.  The journey has taken me in a direction I couldn't have anticipated. 

My illness brought me to my knees spiritually.  I decided to get back to my roots by studying of my family's Celtic history.  That led me to a study of Celtic Christianity, which led me to a pilgrimage to Iona.  After experiencing quiet prayer in a way I had never experienced before, the scripture "be still and know" took hold of my soul and has not let go.  

After prayer in Iona Abbey, Oran's Chapel and other magnificent churches across Scotland and Ireland, I was led to the Sacred Heart Monastery. There the name Benedict took a new meaning to me.  

It was at Sacred Heart that I was introduced to a man named Benedict who predates the "Catholic" church.  He was a man who thirsted and hungered for Christ's love.  He wrote a document which is now known as "The Rule".It wasn't intended as a "rule" but instead as a document that that would help his monastic community live together in Christ's love based on Jesus' teaching. 

As I've learned about Benedict, I was also introduced to the Benedictine way of life and prayer.  THAT has changed my life.  This life of contemplative prayer has brought "be still and know" to life for me.  

I know this whole historical event of the Pope resigning is for many reasons known only to God, but it means something personal to me. Through this journey that is still on going, I've learned something about unity and love.   

Unity and love are the prevalent words of Jesus. If you only focus on what divides us outside of love we've missed it. Doctrine and law have their place in the dicussion, but only through the filter of unity and love. If we "get" the rest of it but miss out on love....we have lost the beauty of what Christ did for us.