Random thoughts

1. Two weeks ago this morning during the wee wee hours, my friend left this world to rest in Jesus.
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3. One month from yesterday is St. Patrick's Day. 
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5. Several people told me to go to the cemetery and talk to Angie.  "It will help" they said.  So I went.  I cried a lot and I'm so weary of the tears. I've cried every day since her diagnosis. I think she would want me to stop crying.  I tried to talk to her at the cemetery but I felt silly. I felt like I was talking to the dirt.  I didn't find comfort.  I wish it was comforting because then I could have a physical place to go. But alas, it did not help. I did however find myself annoyed by the dying flowers.  So I asked Ronnie if I can remove the dying arrangements.  He said yes. 
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7. Here is some wisdom God just gave me.  Angie and I were able to maintain the relationship we had for so many years because we respected each other's space. We didn't HAVE to be together all the time. Sometimes when we were together, we didn't talk at all. We were just there...together.  She liked going to the quiet monastery with me because we could be together in silence together...loving each other...within a comfortable space...together....but separate.  That is a rare combination. We never hovered.  One day after we knew the cancer wasn't going away without a miracle, I told her "I feel the need to hover."  She said "Go ahead....hover."  That is when I officially knew it was bad.
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9. My granddog is coming to stay a few days with us.  Tori the wonderdog is arriving soon.  That should liven things up a wee bit.