Wanting What We Can't Have

We want what we can’t have. It's a normal part of being human.  Tell a teenage girl she can't date a certain guy and he will become her obsession. Start a low carb diet and all we want is carbs. 

  

  During this pandemic I’ve observed "wanting what we can't have" behavior, including from me.  I am home most of the time during “normal” times because I work from home. Enter the pandemic. We are told to social distance and stay at home and now all I can think about is getting out of here!  I want what I can’t have. 

I've even observed this in regards to going to church. I've thought a few times I sure would enjoy being able to have church in bed, not having to worry about what I wore, putting on makeup, or doing my hair. I sure got my wish.  During this pandemic churches have closed their doors to congregational gatherings in an effort to prevent spreading the Covid19 virus. Many of the churches who were rebellious and gathered anyway have found themselves suffering from the virus in large percentages of their congregation. 

Because of these restrictions many churches have used the internet for sharing worship and sermons to their congregations.  I’ve even heard of having “parking lot church.” In this method, people drive to the church parking lot, stay in their car, but roll the window down so they can listen to the speaker via a microphone, pray together, and lift up praises to God. All this happens well within the social distancing guidelines.  

I spoke with my Daddy about his experience with these types of gatherings. He is in his late seventies and enjoys church services, especially the fellowship of normal times of worship.  My Daddy misses the human contact.  He said someone even called him to see if he and my mother had been at the most recent parking lot service because its is hard to know who is there and who is not when you can’t actually see anyone except the folks parked on each side of your car.  We took our services together in a church building for granted and can’t wait to get there and worship in the ways we are most accustomed.  Again, we want what we can’t have.  

Although Satan may have laughed at all the churches closing their doors, the joke is on him. We’ve opened the doors of our homes to worship all across the world.  The planet's houses of worship have multiplied by massive numbers. 

God uses harsh moments to soften and mold our complacent souls.  This, my friends, is a harsh moment.  God has met us in the trial and promises to stay here throughout the entire crisis. He gives us what we need, not what we want. Even in this crisis, there are always reasons to be grateful.  As we seek to get back to normal, whatever that might be, might we consider what parts of normal are worth keeping instead of wanting what we can't have. 

Kind. Love. Helpful.

This is a challenging time at best.  It is deadly at worst.  None of us know what will come next because our generations have never walked this path before.

I saw a report that said half of the American people want us to go back to normal and get back to work right now, while the other half want us to stay in shutdown for as long as it takes.  Some people say you should wear a mask. Some others say masks are not useful. Doctors preach their stay at home message and economist say we are killing the economy the shuts-down. And then there are the opposing political views.  No matter what one side says, the other side disagrees.

As this virus continues to cast its dark shadow across the homes, streets, communities, states, countries, and this planet I become more and more aware the broad scope of this crisis.  How we respond is not only a reflection of the heart of America, it is reflection on mankind. There are protests going on in various states with people screaming at one another, demanding the reopening of business and a cessation of what they see as government over-reach.  Sadly the only thing they know to do is shout. I have lived a life of shouting.  I thought it was my only option when I felt I wasn't being heard. As a result I made those around me miserable, made myself miserable.  This made my loved ones less likely to listen to me, negating my opinion.  God doesn't want me or you to act in this manner.

When this is all over, my reflection to the world will tell exactly who I am, deep in my heart.  So as we look to the future we need to consider how we have behaved during the crisis.  Will I be able to say I was kind, showed love, and was helpful?  Or will people say I was mean, full of hate, and unhelpful.  Most importantly will the people within my sphere of influence be able to say I was kind, showed love, and was helpful.  God says this is very important.

Ephesians 4:32 (ESV) Be kind to one another, tendered hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Mark 12:30-31 (ESV) And you shall love the Lord. your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no other commandment greater than theses.

Galatians 6:10 (ESV) ...as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone...

Soft-Skinned Whiner

I hate it when the preacher steps on my toes, as if he has written the sermon just for me.  This morning a cousin of mine was complaining about things via social media.  She has some truly valid reasons to be discouraged.  She has been deemed "essential" during this pandemic and the stress is heavy.  She's had enough of all the negative that keeps being heaped upon her.  But while writing a comment that I hoped would be encouraging to her, I got that feeling.... The feeling my toes were being stepped on.  

Murmuring is said to be the soft, low, indistinct sounds expressing discontent.  When I think of this word I’m always reminded of the Israelites.  Oh my, did they ever murmur, complain, and feel sorry for themselves?!  One murmur led to another until they were all making a low, buzzing sound of indecipherable noise expressing their complete discontent, forgetting all God had done for them. 

It’s easy for me to pass judgment on those Israelite because it is clearly evident on this side of history all that had been done for them, paving their way to freedom. They were enslaved in Egypt and lived through the plagues. As they were being chased, Moses led them through the parting of the Red Sea. They were fed with manna from heaven and guided by a cloud by day and fire by night. Yet with all this glory they were almost instant to grumble and murmur while they waited for Moses to come down from the mountain with the commandments of God.  In fact they were so disgruntled they built a golden calf to worship.  After all God had done and provided for them, they were quick to forget Him.  And they wandered about the desert for forty years.  Forty YEARS! 

  

As we are weathering this COVID19 storm I’m reminded that we are a soft-skinned people.  I chief amongst them! While our ancestors fought in wars, worked fields by hand, lived through the Depression, survived the Holocaust, came to American on packed, illness saturated ships to escape famine, lived through slavery, fought in the War of American Independence, the Civil War, the French/American war, the Korean War, World Wars I and II, Vietnam, Desert Storm, the War on Terror, the Civil Rights movement, the list goes on and on.  And here we soft-skinned people sit with no calluses built up to face trials.  

The complaining has out grown past the murmuring stage and now reached the pitiful, whining stage.  Why?  Because we’ve had one month of shut downs, lack of usual income, and self-induced shortages of toilet paper, dry beans, and hand-sanitizer.  We’ve experienced one month of restricted movement.  Outside of doctors, nurses, and other folks who have been deemed essential, most of us has been forced to stay at home. For. One. Month. I know there are some who are truly suffering during this time, but I’m referring to we lily-livered, soft-skinned lot.  

Philippians 2:14 says clearly,  “Do all things without murmurings and disputing.”  I’ve been reading this passage over and over.  It does not say, “Do some things without murmurings and disputing,” or , “Do the easy things without murmurings and disputing,” or, “Do the things you want to without murmurings and disputing,” or, “Do a few things without murmurings and disputing.”  It clearly says, “Do ALL THINGS.”  

We are such a spoiled group of people.  Y’all excuse me while I go do some work to toughen up my skin. 

Pandemic Easter

Today has been the strangest day I have experienced in a very long time, especially considering our world is living through a world-wide pandemic and strange days are coming every day.  

It’s Easter Sunday.  I’m sitting in my chair in the living room dressed in a sweatshirt with leggings and fluffy socks.  I had church this morning laying in my bed, watching sermons online, and listening to Dolly Parton sing, “He’s Alive.”  It’s far cry from a new Easter frock and a packed church sanctuary. I made Easter baskets for my adult children, just like every year, but they are all social distancing in their own homes, away from us as they should.  But this makes me so sad. This is the longest period of time I have ever been without a hug from my boys.  I am starving for them.  

There will be no family gathering at the home of my 92 year old mother-in-law.  So for Easter lunch I had popcorn and a cup of tea instead of ham and glorious side dishes made our extended family.  There are no grandchildren and great-grandchildren running about on Hazel’s front lawn hiding and seeking Easter eggs; no golden egg with $5 bill in it; no lining the family up for the annual photos; no hugs and kisses from beloved family members.  Social distancing is breaking my heart.  And to top off this unusual day, we have tornadoes predicted to hit our area this afternoon and tonight. I admit that my nerves are on edge. 

Today after watching online sermons and spending time in prayer the thought came to me. Well not really a thought, more of a remembrance of a promise from God himself.  He absolutely is not social distancing from us in this time of sadness and disruption.  In fact, during this time He promises to be extra close.  

Psalms 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” 

Psalm 23:4 “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”

I’m repeating these scriptures over and over in my head as I move through this day and acknowledge my heartbreak and loss.  If we focus on Him instead of our anxious spirits, we can travel though this chaotic, distressing time with our sanity and faith intact. 

Take Care of Your People

I remember back during the tornado recovery of 2011, I was amazed at how many people contacted the United Way and other agencies for help with cutting up trees, cleaning up branches, picking up food, etc.  One night my Daddy and I were talking and he said, "Whatever happened to taking care of your own?"

While this pandemic crisis is different, in some ways it is the same.  We are restricted and unable to do the things we normally do.  We are all concerned and even scared. So in this crisis I ask, "Whatever happened to taking care of your own?"

One more thing I need to share is this nugget.  If you want something done, ask busy person.  The best volunteers are already busy.  If you want to feel better about yourself, reach out.  Take care of someone else.

What can we all do within the distancing limits to take care of our own? Here are a few of my thoughts.

1.  Call your people.  We all need to talk to one another not only to beat back the depression that this type of situation can bring, but also to find out how your people are doing.  And for you millennials, send a text at the very least.  Call your people.

2. If you have the resources, take some food to your people.  Today I cooked up a bunch of good ol' southern food and make enough plates for John and I, my parents, his mom, and my aunt.  John has been out delivering to their doorsteps.  Not its not like gathering around the table and sharing a meal, but it does help with our health and with our feelings. Take food to your people.

3.  Laugh with your people.  My girl cousins are the life blood of my funny bone.  No one makes me laugh as much as they do.  There are five of us and we are constantly group texting to keep up with one another.  We send stupid pictures, corny jokes, you name it.  But it makes us laugh.  Laugh with your people.

4.  Read together.  Grandparents read a book to your grandkids via Face Time.  Grandkids read to your grandparents via Face Time. One of the most lovely experiences I've been having is listening to Jennifer Ehle read Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" via Instagram. Jennifer played Elizabeth Bennett during the 1995 BBC series of the same work.  Read with your people.

You might also consider an online book club, via Face Time, Zoom, or whatever works best for you.
Read with your people.

5. Use this time to go back through old pictures and share them with your family and friends online. This can help us laugh and check on one another.

6. Vote one healthy person in your group to do the grocery shopping.  Keeping as many as possible at home, we can all be healthier.  Even pick one person to do the grocery pick-ups for extended families. and friends.  Then deliver the same way John delivered meals today.  Drop at the door and give them a knock.

Each day the Lord has been teaching me new things and reminding me of other things I've long known.  Today I felt a strong push to reach out in whatever way I can.

Churches and families need to step up.  You don't necessarily need to worry about everyone, just take care of your own people. If everyone would do that, most everyone would be cared for.  Don't wait on someone else to step up.  YOU do it.  Be safe everyone.

Pandemic Chili and Grits

One of the things I do to love people is also one of the things I do to work through stress.  I cook.  This is good news for my family.  This morning I woke up, prayed through the morning hours and flipped on the news.  I felt something creeping in on me I've not felt so far during this social distancing. Fear.

This event is virgin territory for all of us.  Its similar to our  9/11 experiences with everyone in the country focused on a common enemy; limited travel; runs on supplies; constant monitoring of the news.  But this time the enemy doesn't have a first and last name, a religious affiliation, and it certainly is not only happening in the United States of American.  This is a global pandemic with the enemy's only name being virus.

I am by nature an introvert with some extrovert tendencies.  I like to be home. I don't mind being by myself, as an only child its my most comfortable space. But there is something different about being told to stay at home and even if I'm not here alone, John is with me, I'm separated from my other family and my friends.  Thankfully we have mobile phones and social media that can keep us in communication with one another. But for those of us who are huggers, the lack of physical connection is painful.  My youngest son came to check on us this morning and it was painful to see him without being able to hug him.

According to the news there are many more days ahead of us in this bizarre pandemic journey than are behind us.  We are going to have to figure ways to make it through to the other side of the virus without losing our minds, getting depressed, or worse even, losing our faith.  

So here is my plan... at least for the near future.
1.  I'm going to continue, increase, and hopefully deepen my prayer journey.  Faith in God Almighty is the cornerstone of my life. I won't let this virus challenge my faith by letting fear take hold.
2.  I'm going to keep communication open with all of my family and friends in whatever way is useful and healthy.
3.  I'm going to work and use these hours, days, and maybe even weeks to let the words flow.
4.  I'm going to finish some projects around the house.
5.  I'm going to get outside when I can and take walks or just sit on the patio and feel the sun whenever I can.
6. I'm going to keep cooking to release stress and to love John with some yummy dishes.

Today I cooked some
vegetarian chili with garlic cheese grits

2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil
1 chopped onion and bell pepper
5 minced garlic cloves
5 tablespoons chili powder
1 16 oz. bag of red lentils
28 oz. of canned diced tomatoes
32 oz. of vegetable stock
Salt and Pepper to taste
Sour cream
Fresh cilantro

In a stock pot heat oil and saute veggies until translucent and slightly browned.  Add garlic and chili powder.  Add lentils, tomatoes and stock.  Bring to a boil then lower the heat to medium and simmer for about 30 minutes.

While the chili is simmering cook the grits.
Bring 3 cups of water, 1/4 stick of butter, a tablespoon of garlic powder and 1/2 teaspoon of salt to a boil.  Add 1 cup of yellow grits and bring to a boil again.  Reduce heat to low and allow to simmer for 5 minutes, stirring constantly.  Remove from heat and stir in a couple handfuls of grated cheese.

Take a subversive blender and put into the stock pot of chili. Give it a few pulses to cream a small amount of the chili mixture.  Stir the chili to blend.

To serve fill a bowl with chili, top with a healthy serving of grits and a dollop of sour cream.

Happy Quarantine Birthday To Me!

If you had told me last year on my 53rd birthday that I would be spending my 54th birthday in my pajamas all day, I would have believed you.  If you told me that I'd be spending the day with John, I would have believed you as well.  If you told me that I'd be typing away on my birthday, I'd have believed that too.  BUT had you told me that the entire county would be under siege of a novel Coronavirus, and I'd be self-quarantined with restaurants and pubs closed to all but curb-side pickup, schools closed for the year with no graduation ceremonies, and that the country would be running out of surgical masks and toilet paper, I would have called you mad.

But alas, that is where we are. We are just over a week into this unbelievable event and I fear it is only the beginning of a long, long spring.  I'm concerned, not really worried because I know that none of this surprised our Father in heaven. I'm however concerned with the impact this will have in the health of so many.  Visitors are banned from all hospitals and nursing homes and I know that is hard for the patients and their loved ones.  All elective surgeries and dental procedures have been canceled, so I know there are people in pain waiting on their turn to get what they need. People have gone to the groceries locally and not found what they need.  Folks have been unexpectedly laid off from work because it is no longer safe to work together. Our nation and world's economy may be in for a bumpy ride.

With limited options I picked a very local, very yummy, incredibly unhealthy take-away birthday lunch.  Dub's Burgers is a local burger joint that specializes in greasy burgers with all the fixin's.   I craved these burgers in 1994-1995 while I was pregnant with our second child.  Strangely enough, he is now a big fan of Dub's.

This quarantine birthday is so bizarre.  But I'm so thankful for all the lovely messages, emails, texts, and calls.  We can stay connected even as we socially distant ourselves for virus purposes.

Now back to healthy eating.