Spring is here, but my groove is still missing.

Today is March 20th, first day of spring and my Grandmother Myrtle Weatherford Hodson Ramsey's 114th birthday.  She passed from this life when I was a wee baby.  I always find myself grieving over the loss of not knowing her on this day.  

I've always felt specially connected to her because her birthday is March 20th and mine is March 21st. My mother has always said I get my creative spirit from her.  My mom looks just like pictures of Grandmother.  I sure wish I had known her.  Really deep into my soul wish I had known her.

That little lamb pictured here made me smile today.  I love lambs and sheep.  They remind me of Ireland and Scotland.  I have a wee lamb on my key ring.  I have a sheep wrist watch now.  I have several little sheep and lambs I decorate with.  I have an old, very old print in my dining room that belonged to my Grandmother Myrtle.  It has a shepherd and some sheep in it.  I love that picture.  The little lamb pictured above is how I'd like to feel.  All springy and excited. 

Today I'm tired.  I've just accomplished my first two days back at the office.  I'm trying to get my head screwed on straight and get into that work groove.  It's nice.  I love the work.  I truly love the work.  My office is a wee bit bare, but I'll have time to spruce it up and make it mine again in a wee bit.  Once I figure out my groove again. 

I'm finding myself getting all giddy about the prayer retreat this weekend.  Like, seriously can.not. wait.  I have a vision of me running in at the monastery and giving all the nuns high fives....and then they'd probably run me right back out :)    

Life has seriously changed since the last time I was there in January.  My precious friend was still hanging on then.  Still fighting hard.  Still going to basketball games.  Still living with cancer instead of dying from it.  I hope that makes sense.  She lived with cancer and then died.  She didn't go about life dying from cancer.  There is a big difference there. 

I remember while at the retreat in January, I was the only participant that was allowed to leave my phone on during the retreat because of the seriousness of her illness.  I checked my phone...often.  She sent me just one text while I was gone that weekend.  I have it in my phone, saved as a treasure. "I am doing well.  I hope you are having a blessed time.  Do not worry about me.  Focus on Him and listen. I love you." 

Spring has arrived. I'm trying to get my groove back. I miss my friend.