Saturday, March 30, 2013

Where my heart is today...

After thinking about Mary for most of my life, this year it dawned on me that if she was as young as they say when Jesus was born, then she was about my age when Jesus was crucified.  

The day I realized that, it hit me like a sucker punch in the gut.  I immediately when into that mental place where I stood as Mary watching one of my own precious sons being assaulted and killed.  Noooooooooooo!  

I just recently started my own personal study of this woman who has captured my imagination for many years.  Mary was the one chosen to care for our KING from the point of conception.  Her womb considered worthy of holding the first flicker of life that would become "Immanuel".  Her body fed God as he grew.  Her hands loved God as He matured into a man.  Her heart loved God as He walked the path set out before Him.  Did she really know the depth of who He was?  I have no idea. 

But this I do know.  As a mother, she loved that baby from the moment she knew he was there.  She prayed over that wee life as it grew inside of herShe felt her heart spill over into her body when she laid eyes on him for the first time.  She begged God's protection for this child.  The would sit and watch him play and wonder at the beauty of this little creature that God gave her to care for.  She hurt when he hurt.  She kissed boo boos.  She laid her hand on his chest when he was soundly sleeping just to make sure he was still breathing.  She cleaned up after him.    

Why do I know these things?  Because I am a mother.  I am a mother of sons.  In honor of the love God has for me, I gave my heart way to my baby boys.  Just as Mary did.  

When I let my mind slip into hers as her baby boy as charged, judged, beatened, scorned, nailed to the cross, left to soul can barely hold the hurt in my soul for her.    

On Saturday during the week Jesus was crucified, the followers must have been deep in grief and pain.  He was gone.  He was dead.  What happened to our Lord?  They  must have been so confused and hurt.  Even though, He had prepared them, they still did not understand.  Just was we do not fully understand the depth of the love and the miracle that was coming.   

Tomorrow we celebrate the miracle of resurrection!  We rejoice in his coming forth from the grave to BE OUR RISEN KING!  

But today, today the world waits in anguish for what happened to Him because sin....your sin....our sin.  

Today, I walk with Mary's bruised heart in my chest. 

If you pray the Liturgy of Hours each day, you read Mary's "Magnificant" each night.  Because I've spent so much time in that scripture, it speaks to me very deeply.  

”My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. 
For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name. And his mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation. 
He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts; he has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate; he has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent away empty. 
He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy, as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his offspring forever.” Luke 1:46-55

May your day be filled with remembrance.  

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